I think I died a long time ago.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
