he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Randomize
