just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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