I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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