i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
