White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
