Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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