i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
