Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
