Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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