Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
