we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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