They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
