you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
