Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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