worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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