Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
