Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
