I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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