you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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