Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
