? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
