Im at strip club and am horny
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
