he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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