I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
