I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
