pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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