Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
