i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
