His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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