ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
dude. I can hear the air.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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