"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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