I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
