You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
