Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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