I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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