1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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