p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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