And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
