he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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