I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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