We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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