idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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