Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Mom said you looked used
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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