operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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