hell yes lets make some ravioli
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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