This girl is more easily done than said...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
