We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
