The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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