I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
