and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Randomize
