Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
