I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
