I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
