It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
